


Suffering Succotash

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Humanstuck, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Multi, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-01-26
Updated: 2012-01-26
Packaged: 2017-10-30 03:46:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/327399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes, a single night can be the beginning. All it takes is one chance to look at someone a little differently.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Are You There, God? It's Me, Eridan

Though Sollux and Eridan had known, and rather disliked, each other for months now; the first time Sollux had ever actually given him a second thought was on what could easily be considered one of the worst day's of Eridan's life.  
  
He had been on his way home from work - another idiot had disabled their firewall to download porn and had to call Sollux to wipe the hard drive after it had been too virally infected to even open internet explorer - when he saw Ampora, sitting on the curb above a storm drain, soaking wet, with his face buried in his hands and an odd shake in his shoulders betraying the fact that he was desperately trying not have a mental breakdown in the middle of Prospit Avenue.  
  
He watched as Eridan apparently regained enough of his self control to stop trying to pull his own hair out, now dropping his hands limply to his sides and leaning back to look at the grey-clouded sky.  
  
And even though Sollux had allways thought Eridan was kind of a prick, and definitely a tool, something about the blatant totaly misery in his expression and the way his wet hair was falling messily into his face in a completely pathetic way made Sollux actually want to help. Or at least find out what the hell had happened.  
"Are you okay?"  
  
Eridan jumped a little at the question, having apparently not noticed anyone walking up next to him and certainly not expecting anyone to aknowledge him. He looked Sollux up and down for half a second, before going back to staring at the rather ominous skyline. "No, not at all. Do you evven care that I'm not okay?"  
  
Sollux thought about that one. He shrugged. "I don't know. I guess I cared enough to ask."  
  
Eridan rolled his eyes, but other then that, didn't bother responding again. For a little while, Sollux didn't say anything, either. He simply watched Eridan watch the sky, and tried to decide if he wanted to leave.  
  
"So. What happened to make you so obviously not okay?"  
  
Ampora sighed. "A lot of things. Were you more interested in the big problem, wwhere Feferi not only rejected me wwhen I asked her out but even dumped me as a friend, or all of the little things that havve happened since then, like how I missed my midterms because I tripped face-first into a giant puddle from the thunderstorm last night and dropped my keys into this drain and didn't havve enough time to run to the school? Because I'm sure you'll find both pretty funny. Evven funnier is the fact that now that Vriska has randomly decided to stop talking to me and Fef dropped me like a bad habit you're the only person I know who even cares enough to ask wwhy I look like about to fucking cry in the middle of the street."  
  
And really, what the hell was Sollux supposed to say to THAT? So he didn't say anything. Until the first few raindrops started to fall, anyway.  
"Do your keys include the one for your apartment?"  
  
Eridan's eyes widened in realization, and a drop of rain hit his glasses as he grimaced. "Oh, mother FUCK."  
  
Sollux sighed. And discovered that whether he thought Eridan was annoying or not, he did still care, at least a little. "I have clean towels and liquor at my apartment," he offered  
  
Eridan stared at him for a moment. He sighed. "I think that might the most considerate fucking thing anyone's evver offered me."


	2. Because A Good Friend Knows What His BFF Gets It Up For

It wasn't a long ways away, but but the time they got to Sollux's apartment the rain had picked up enough for them fuck my eyebrow feels weird had picked up enough to them wet, and while Sollux hadn't gotten hit enough to be more than damp after he took off his coat, the rain had managed to finish the wet road's job from earlier and leave Eridan completely drenched. So um. Sollux all like, told him where the towels were and uh. Probably loaned him some dry clothes. That's what I'd have done. It seems like they'd about fit anyway- they're probably close to the same size. What was I doing again? Hey, those pants right there on the floor I got that way- Colton loaned them to me after I left my clothes on the floor to take a shower but it was all leaky and they got soaked, and then he said I could keep them afterwards because they were too small anyway. Which makes sense, because otherwise why would his boy pants have fit me? This is gonna suck to edit later, huh? Okay where was I.....  
  
Okay so like, while Eridan was in the bathroom getting changed Sollux sat down at his chair where he sits and then Karkat yelled at him through IM because Karkat allways yells everything every time no matter what medium he communicates through.

 

carcinoGeneticist began trolling twinArmegeddons

CG: GODDAMMIT DOUCHEBAG

CG: WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?

TA: cool iit KK, ii diidn't get eaten by a fuckiing 2hark or 2omethiing

CG: JUST SHUT UP AND TELL ME HOW TO FIX YOUR STUPID SHIITY PROGRAM. IT FUCKING BLUESCREENED ME WHEN I RAN IT

TA: diid you try too  fuck how does he spell those again? whatever.  diid you try 2oo modiify iit?

CG: I IMPROVED IT, IF THAT'S WHAT YOU MEAN

TA: 2on of a biitch KK, what diid ii tell you about that

TA: nevermiind, not riight now 

TA: ii'm gonna get drunk wiith ED untiil the raiin let2 up enough too fi2h hii2 key2 out of the 2ewer2

CG: ED? OH, ERIDAN. I FORGOT YOU EVEN KNOW THAT GUY. WELL IT'S GODDAMN MONSOON SEASON RIGHT NOW, SO THE RAIN WON'T LET UP TILL AT LEAST LATER TONIGHT. TRY NOT TO GET TOO DRUNK AND BANG HIM.

TA: ve2y funny KK. what have ii told you about not talking too me while your boyf2iiend'2 hand i2 down your pant2?

CA: OH, PLEASE IT'S YOUR OWN FAULT I SAID THAT. I KNOW YOU GET IT UP FOR THE EMOTIONALLY DAMADGED, AND THAT GUY'S THE BIGGEST TRAINWRECK I KNOW

TA: ii do not get iit up fo2 emotiional t2ainw2eck2. whe2e a2e you even getting that?

CA: DUDE YOU CANNOT LIE TO ME. I WAS THERE WHEN YOU WERE DATING ARADIA, REMEMBER?

TA: ...okay 2he wa2 a liittle dii2tu2bed at the tiime, ii admiit. but 2he'2 better now.

CA: YEAH, I KNOW, MY FAVORITE PART IS HOW I KNOW THAT AROUND THE TIME SHE STOPPED WANTING TO KILL HERSELF IS ALSO AROUND THE TIME YOU TWO STARTED TO BREAK UP. AND I ALSO KNOW THAT YOU AND FEFERI HAVE BEEN FRIENDS FOR A WHILE, AND ONLY ACTUALLY CONSIDERED DATING HER QUITE RECENTLY. IS IT JUST ME, OR HAS SHE SEEMED MORE STRESSED THAN LATELY USUAL, TOO? I WONDER IF THERE IS PERHARPS SOMETHING TO THIS. A PATTERN, MAYBE?

TA: god DAMN iit KK 2hut the fuck up and 2top actiing liike you actually have a 2ingle fuckiing clue what you'2e talkiing about

TA: you thiink you'2e 2o fuckiing good at readiing people, a fuckiing dii2ciiple of Kanaya or somethiing 

TA: well 2hut the fuck up for once

(Meanwhile, not so far away, Gamzee glanced over Karkat's shoulder at his pesterlog. "Holy shit, he really went off on you, didn't he?

Karkat didn't even raise an eyebrow, just glanced over at his boyfriend for a brief second and calmly said "Wait for it.")

TA: 2o22y about that, ii went ove2boa2d. ii diidn't mean too blow up, and ii never con2iidered any of that befo2e. you miight even have a poiint.

TA: but 2e2iou2ly, 2hut up. ii'm gonna go get d2unk now.

CA: HAVE FUN. OH, AND TELL THAT FUKCING TOOL TO APOLOGIZE TO VRISKA. EVER SINCE HE PISSED HER OFF SHE HASN'T HAD ANYONE TO SCHEME WITH, SO SHE JUST KEEPS FUCKING WITH ALL HER FRIENDS. IT'S SERIOUSLY PISSING EVERYONE OFF AND IF THOSE IDIOTS DON'T START RPING AGAIN OR FIND A NEW OUTLET FOR THEIR NEED TO PLOT GENOCIDE I'M GONNA KILL THEM MYSLELF. 

CA: I'M SERIOUS. SHE'S LIKE, TRYING TO SEDUCE TAVROS AND KANAYA, AND IT'S MAKING THEIR ANNOYING AMERICAN GIRLFRIENDS MAD AT HER, AND NONE OF US EVEN KNOW WHAT THE HELL SHE'S TRYING TO ACCCOMPLISH. I CAN'T FIGURE OUT IF THAT CRAZY BITCH IS TRYING TO SLEEP WITH KANAYA, OR TAVROS, OR JOHN, OR ALL OF THEM, OR IF IT'S NONE AND SHE'S JUST MESSING WITH EVERYONE'S HEADS. 

TA: well, iif you diidn't love tho2e 2tupiid 2omance2 2o much, everyone wouldn't go too you fo2 love adviice and none of thii2 would be your problem. 2o you 2eally only have you22elf to blame.

CA: WHATEVER. HAVE FUN AND KEEP YOUR DICK IN YOUR PANTS

TA: 2tiill not funny

carcinoGenetisict has ceased trolling twinArmageddons


	3. Did You Mean Henpecking?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I DO NOT KNOW WHERE THE LAST FEW PARAGRAPHS OF THIS WENT WHEN I POSTED IT THE FIRST TIME.

It didn't take long for the two of them to have ended up tipsy and on their way to drunk on Sollux's couch. The alcohol had warmed their bodies and disposisions alike, and once the drinks were poured it didn't take long for the pair to find themselves engaged in conversation. However, as much as alcohol acts as a social lubricant, people won't change that easily, and the 'conversation' in question had really turned into more of an hour long argument about nothing in particular; like roosters pecking at eachother in a cock fight. Kind of. Except with more sarcasm and less torn-up chickens. Unless they had some for dinner. They might have, you never know. Anyway, by two hours and about two-thirds a bottle of vodka in both parties involved were pretty close to completely drunk, and had therefore managed to turn their conversation from the inane argument they had been engaged in to actually talk like normal people instead of the pair of nerdy bitches they so obviously are.  
  
"Well, all of thith is second-hand from KK, tho I don't have any clue what her problem could be," Sollux said, took another sip form his drink, and briefly wondered why Eridan had looked at him so oddly when he had said that.

  
Eridan, having apparently decided whatever he saw in Sollux at that moment wasn't important, sighed. "Wwell, it's good that this means wwe'll start talking again, I guess. Evven if now I havve to figure out wwhat I did wwrong to make it up to her."  
  
Sollux shrugged. "Vrithka'z jutht a bitth. She'z going to get pithed at you no matter what."  
  
Eridan blinked at him. "Wwait a minute." He squinted, and leered suspiciously at Sollux. "I swwear I really heard it that time. Say that again?"  
  
Sollux cursed himself for his innatentiveness, wow, writing tired is way worse than writing high.  
  
Sollux realized what Eridan had noticed and cursed himself for his innatentivness, trying to pull up memories of speech therapy when he was younger to carefully rephrase his words. "Vris-ka'z jusst a bitth-" Beside him, Eridan choked back a giggle- "Oh, thon of a- motherfucking thi- God DAMN it."  
  
Ampora just started laughing outright at this point, gasping "I DID hear it! You havve a lisp!"  
  
"Oh, fuck off. It'th not that funny," Sollux defended testily, glaring at him.  
  
Eridan seemed to disagree. "You havve a LISP! Mr. Too-cool-for-one-color Super Hacker can't evven say 'Mississippi!' That's FANTASTIC!"

  
Sollux glared at him. "Jutht when I'm drunk or really upthet. Thupid thpeetth impedement ruined moth of my tthildhood. Fuck, I finally fucking get over it and I THILL get made fun of."

"I'm sorry," Eridan apologized, though apparently not very sincerely considering he was still giggling. "It's just- you'vve allways been this guy who's taller than me and better-looking and Fef likes you so much and stuff, and then you say 'Vvrithka'z jutht a bittch' and it sounds so SILLY and you havve a lisp which is like, the least cool thing evver and it just makes my fucking day," he barked out quickly in between giggles, pealing into laughter once again when he reached the end.  
  
Sollux wanted to be annoyed, and he was very nearly angry, but in the end, Eridan had just accidently confessed he was jealous of Sollux, which everyone allready knew anyway but never thought Eridan would actually own up to it, and that was kind of sad.  
  
Unfortunately, Eridan kind of ruined the sympathy his statement had gained right away. "S-say something else," he ordered in between muffled snickers, and Sollux had to convince himself not to reach over and start strangling the Aquarius where he sat.  
  
"Fuck no, I'm not your damned thircuth monkey," and at Sollux's butchered attempt at the word 'circus' Eridan starting laughing again, and Sollux forcefully reminded himself that Eridan's day had been an absolute catastrophe and that Sollux was trying to make the night suck less then the day had, so he could at least let a bit of teasing slide.  
  
Even if he still kind of wanted to punch him.  
  
Eventually, Eridan did manage to stop laughing, and after that neither could quite think of what to say.  
  
The silence was a little awkward for no particular reason, simply a result of all the mirth that had previously filled the room slowly evaporating. For a while, neither said or did anything.  
  
And then, Sollux thought of something he hadn't for quite a while, and even though he had allways been too embarrassed to ever mention it to anyone before, he figured that if anyone would understand it would most definitely be Eridan, and he was just drunk enough to tell him.  
  
"I don't thuppothe it'll make you feel any better about what Feferi did today," he started, "but back when the and I firtht thtarted to become friendth, I athed her out. It did not take her long to reject that offer," he wasn't really looking at Eridan, but could still see the surprise flash across his face. "I mean, I wath never in love with her or anything, but..." he trailed off with a shrug.  
  
Eridan considered this. "I did feel better for a second, but then I remembered Fef evven dumped me as a friend. Thanks, though, I guess."

  
The silence was pretty awkward again after that. Sollux figured this just meant he was in charge of breaking awkward silences, and after draining his screwdriver and setting the glass back on his coffee table with a decicive click, made one last-dich attempt at salvaging Eridan's mood for the night.

"The thellth theathellth by the thea thore."  
  
He wasn't sure which he should be more impressed by- the fact that he had managed to say that with a straight face, or the fact that it had apparently worked; it took a second, but Eridan burst into peals of easy laughter once more.  
  
Eridan's amusement at this was apparently so great sis voice came out as nearly a squeak when he tried to speak between laughter. "I- I could barely even tell what you said!"Sollux sighed. At this point there was pretty much no denying that both of them were almost completely drunk, but was that really a good enough reason for Eridan to find his lisp THAT funny?  
  
"Hey, Sol," Eridan asked, suddenly, still giggling. "Can I ask you a huuuuge favvor?"  
  
Considering that he was still laughing, this did not bode well. Warily, Sollux replied "What?"  
  
More muffled snickers. "Could you say sufferin' succotash?"  
  
Oh. FUCK. No. "No fuckin' way. I am not a fuckin' cartoon character, and if I wath, I would be full of far leth fail than that thtupid cat."  
  
Apparently Eridan either disagreed or didn't care, because he didn't give up. "Please? Pretty pleasseeee? It wwould be so fuckin' great, you don't evven knoww."  
  
Sollux turned to look properly at Eridan, with every intention of telling him to go fuck himself. But he was, as previously mentioned, fairly intoxicated, and he ended up turning his head too fast, leaving him dizzy for a few seconds and making his sunglasses slip down his nose - just enough for the top half of his vision to return to their proper colors. And that's how he noticed what he hadn't been able to from behind the dark filters of his two-tone spectacles - Eridan's face was flushed red, probably from the alcohol.  
  
That shouldn't be important. Sollux shouldn't give it a second thought, but for some reason it made him pause and really look at Eridan.  
  
He was leaning foreward towards Sollux, and his eyes were wide and shining behind his glasses; a hopeful and childish expression one should probably expect from someone who just said the words "pretty please." His hair was nearly dry, but his attempt to sweep it back like normal hadn't quite worked, and some of his bangs had ended up back in his face; a few thin purple strands curling into his eyes and over his ears. He was biting his bottom lip to muffle his ever-continuing snickers, and his cheeks were flushed, and even though by now his clothes were probably dry, he was still wearing Sollux's shirt.  
  
He was wearing _his_ shirt.  
  
God DAMN he hated it when Karkat was right.  
  
"...Thufferin' thuccotath."  
  
He watched Eridan's lips stretch out of his teeth's ability to hide his smile, and Eridan started laughing so hard he actually stopped breathing.

Sollux watched him choke and sputter to regain his breath, his laughter continuing throughout. And for some reason, it was only now that he realized that before tonight he had never seen Eridan laugh before. Considering that prior to tonight thier entire relationship had consisted of petty arguments, he was fairly certain he had never seen him smile before, either.

It was kind of cute, the way his glasses had slipped down his nose a little when he bowled over to clutch his stomach, and the way his bright red cheeks puffed out a little from the smile stretching across his face.

He watched as Eridan finally calmed down, and even though something in the back of his head was quietly mentioning that this was probably a bad idea, he reached out.

Slowly he brought his hand to Eridan's face, touching his cheek softly with the tips of his fingers. Eridan's eyes widened with surprise, but he didn't pull away, and Sollux took that as a sign that he may as well go further.

Gently, he cupped Eridan's face with his hand, feeling Eridan's breath hiss warmly against his wrist, and, watching his expression carefully, slowly leaned in. Gently, he brushed their lips together, drawing back slightly when he felt Eridan softly draw in a shaky gasp. When Eridan made no further movements either way, Sollux moved forward again and kissed him in earnest.


	4. Let Old Bones Stay Buried

twinArmegeddons has begun trolling carcinoGeneticist  
TA: okay KK  
TA: iill admiit iit  
TA: maybe there2 been a rea2on our a22hole friiend2 a2k you for the 2ame adviice over and over agaiin  
TA: becau2e you 2eem to be ontwo 2omethiing   
CG: OH MY GOD  
CG: YOU DIDN'T  
TA: ii diidnt, no  
TA: but we diid make out.  
CG: I WAS MOSTLY JOKING, I SWEAR. YOU DON'T EVEN LIKE THE GUY, HOW DID YOU MAKE OUT WITH HIM?  
TA: ii don't know  
TA: we were drunk and ii had loaned hiim my shiirt and he wa2 laughiing and earlier he had been 2o  
TA: ii dont know  
CG: GOD DAMMIT YOU FUCKING LOSER  
CG: YOU ARE NEVER ALLOWED TO COMFORT ANYONE EVER AGAIN  
CG: YOU STRANGE, KINKY BASTARD. SO WHAT EXACTLY IS IT ABOUT THE EMOTIONALLY VOLATILE THAT DO IT FOR YOU? IS IT THE COMFORT OF KNOWING THAT FOR ONCE YOU'RE NOT THE MOST MISERABLE AND WRETCHED PERSON IN THE ROOM? OR MAYBE YOU JUST LIKE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF THE VULNERABLE?  
TA: you are helpiing 2o liittle, ii actually only feel wor2e than before. thank2. good two know ii can count on friend2  
CG: SORRY. I DIDN'T MEAN TO ACTUALLY MAKE YOU FEEL BAD.  
CG: ANYWAY, SO YOU MADE OUT WITH ERIDAN. IT'S NOT LIKE YOU WORK WITH HIM OR CHEATED ON SOMEONE OR SOMEHTING. JUST BRUSH IT OFF  
TA: ii 2uppo2e you have a poiint. ii ju2t freaked out a liitle  
CG: THIS FREAKED YOU OUT? GOD DAMMIT, AFTER WHAT HAPPENED LAST YEAR YOU'RE FREAKED OUT BY SOMETHING THIS SMALL?  
TA: oh god don't remiind me   
CG: OUCH. I TAKE THAT AS AN INSULT, SIR. THAT SHOULD BE A GLORIOUS MEMORY YOU CHERISH FOR IT'S TRANSIENT BEAUTY  
TA: ii2 that how you 2ee iit?  
CG: HELL NO. BUT UNLIKE YOU I DON'T NEED TO REMINICE FONDLY. I'M GETTING LAID, REMEMBER?  
TA: okay 2eriou2ly fuck you  
TA: and 2eriou2ly talk about hypocriitiical- youre datiing the biigge2t p2ycho ii've ever met iin my liife  
TA: and ii'm countiing my2elf  
TA: 2o ii get a liitle turned on by cryiing, at lea2t ii'm not datiing a guy who goe2 into viiolent p2ychotiic rage2  
TA: ii never a2ked- diid iit leave a 2car where he hiit you?  
CG: FUCK YOU SOLLUX  
CG: YOU DO NOT GO THERE, YOU DO NOT MENTION THAT  
TA: we were allready talkiing about iit  
CG: OH NO. WE WERE TALKING ABOUT THE HALF OF THAT WE CAN TAKE LIGHTLY. WE WERE NOT TALKING ABOUT THE OTHER PART, THE PART THAT IS NOT TO BE JOKED ABOUT AND NOT TO BE FUCKING MENTIONED  
CG: I LET GO MOST OF THE SHIT YOU SAY WHEN YOU HAVE YOUR BIPOLAR MOODSWINGS, THE SAME AS YOU IGNORE IT EVERY TIME I GET PISSED AND CALL OFF THE FRIENDSHIP, BUT THIS IS NOT SOMETHING WE TALK ABOUT   
CG: SHUT THE FUCK UP RIGHT NOW  
TA: 2hiit   
TA: youre riight  
TA: ii 2hould have known better than two 2ay that, it wa2 way two far  
TA: ii know youve worked hard, youve kept your boyfriend 2ane and made your rela2ion2hiip work and ii re2pect that  
TA: iim 2orry  
CG: THANK YOU. AND FUCK OFF.   
carcinoGeneticist has ceased trolling twinArmageddons


End file.
